Motorcycle Views

Wild Motorcycle Tales

Here's a great story from rtlittledevil. Got your own story? Send it to me.

Oh, for a Laser

What I want to carry on my motorcycle is nothing fancy really, maybe a 5 megawatt chilled argon Laser that would effectively cut a golf ball sized hole through a car or truck's engine block in the blink of an eye. It wouldn't harm the occupants or driver, just disable the vehicle permanently so others wouldn't have to deal with the idiot behind the wheel. Case in point, the idiot in my story.

I am sitting at the RED light today in North Seattle on Highway 99 South bound in the outside lane. I am enjoying the cool temperature of the day as it has been a little hot lately by Northwest standards, perfect riding weather.

Suddenly I get a funny feeling come over me and the hairs on the back of my neck start to stand up. I look around the intersection and then in the mirror and there it is! The idiot in the H2 is rolling up on my back like we are sitting at a green light and I am not there. He is close, real close and going fast, WTF!

I just let go of the brakes, pop the motor and clutch while starting a lean to the right. Anything to avoid getting hit. The bike pivots up on one wheel and leans far to the right, goes up on the curb between two surprised pedestrians waiting for the light to change and I manage to get the wheel down and the bike stopped before running out of sidewalk and hitting the building.

The H2 missed me by just inches I was told later by one of the pedestrians. The H2 blows the light, and catches a Chevrolet Caprice in the rear quarter panel toasting the Caprice and the H2. I missed all the crash as my back was to it and I was trying to get 700+ pounds of bike and rider stopped before the sidewalk all went away.

I park the bike and run over to the driver of the Caprice to see if she is OK. Other bystanders also run to her aid. She is fine, just shaken up. Meanwhile, I hear an engine turning over. It is the dippy driver of the H2 with a panicky look on his face trying to get DAD's truck started and flee the scene.

I start to walk toward him. He sees me coming and his panic sets in so he just starts franticly turning the key to get the truck going to run for it.

I think to myself, "You are not going to run and hurt anybody else today in that F-ing lethal weapon!" So I pull out my handy Columbia River Knife & Tool boot knife, shake my head at the kid and plunge it into the sidewall of the driver's front tire. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssttt. Walk past the driver's door and next is the drivers rear tire. Psssssssssssssssssssssssssst and the knife goes back in its holster.

I step back to the driver's door and the kid is just freaking inside. I knock on the window glass with the carbon fiber knuckles of my still gloved hand and the kid flips me off! I politely inform him that he can stop trying to flee the scene as he has two flat tires and will not get far.

He starts to unbuckle his seat belt and make like he is going to get out. With a big smile on my face, I pull my chin piece down on my flip front helmet as I raise a finger, waggle it really cool like and tell him he should probably stay in the car as something real bad may happen to him if he gets out. Fortunately, he gets the idea I am attempting to pass along and starts calming down while he sits and thinks.

I did not want him to get out as I really deeply wanted to knock all his teeth out and knew I would if he did. About five minutes later, the police show and take control.

The TEENAGER tries to formulate amazing-story after even more-amazing-story with the cops to no avail. At least the police are getting entertained.

The kid starts screaming that I slashed "his" (DAD's) tires. I explain to one of the police officers and I am backed up by several other people that he was attempting to flee the scene and I felt it was a reasonable, low risk, way to prevent him from leaving and potentially hurting somebody else had he gotten the truck started and split. The cops call no harm, no foul (YES!!) and give a hand shake and thank you and then escort the little brat off to make new friends. I stuck around to give my side of the incident on paper then headed home.

Hell, I did not even go over to my friend's house where I was headed as the whole thing just made me want to be off and away from the road for the rest of the day. Sucks.

Would it not just be easier to hit their cars with that Laser as a preemptive action before it has to come to all of this. Hmmmm. -- rtlittledevil

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