Wild Motorcycle Tales - Safe riding is no Accident Page 3

Wild Motorcycle Tales

Safe riding is no Accident

Page 3

My first time out, I was becoming accustomed to gear shifting and turning. At one point, I took one of the turns too wide and ended up in a ditch, scratching one of the boobs off the naked black girl on my tank. This was an improvement to the paint job, I think, but don't tell that to Kim.

Some cowboys in a pickup truck saw me drive into the ditch and were laughing, and I was quite embarrassed. But I picked up the bike and drove it around the block anyway, getting used to the handling of it and feeling like a rock star doing all of maybe 20 mph.

I felt confident enough to be able to take my riding test that weekend after riding the Harley those few times, and that Saturday I went to the lecture part of the TEAM test. Our lecturer was a big biker lady, who drove up on a Fat Boy. She showed us a video, then gave us a written exam which I passed with a 100%.

The lecture told us many common sense things, like where truck blind spots are, that cars will always win so don't get into a pissing contest with them, and to keep a 2 second distance from cars in front of you. With that done, I was ready for the driving portion of the exam on Sunday.

I remember that day in detail, because it was so much fun, at least for me. Some people decided it was not for them after only a few minutes of riding. Others were frightened every step of the training. Others were experienced riders, and then there was me who had just learned how to shift and ride on my Harley in Casa Grande earlier that week.

We were given a brief outdoor lecture by the TEAM trainers, where they told us to pay attention to everything they said, and to follow what they were teaching to the letter. When they said stop, we were to stop, when they said go, we were to go! They said they understood that for many of the people there, it was their first time on a motorcycle and that was OK.

So they started out by showing us how to shift, and wanted us to drive straight for a short distance. I did that quite easily, but for a few people it was an ordeal. For one guy, instead of putting the motorcycle into first gear, he clicked it straight into fourth and stalled the bike repeatedly. He made mistakes all day, to the point where the lecturers were looking at each other and trying to decide if they should pass him, but they didn't have the heart not to. If you have balls enough to mount up, then they felt they could work through the rest.

They taught us how to run over objects like boards, how to brake quickly and pull to the left or right in case someone slams on their brakes in front of you. I can remember the lecturer yelling to this lady to "plant your feet when you stop!" but she didn't listen, and toppled over when she stopped, knocking down several other riders as if they were dominos. She got up and left the training grounds, saying "This isn't for me!" even though she said earlier that she had just spent $50K buying a new Harley earlier that week. I remember three or four people quitting during the test, but the majority stayed.

We drove zigzag around cones, and this is when I knew I felt comfortable riding, because it went smoothly and flawlessly. I passed the riding part of the exam, as did almost everyone, even the guy who couldn't put his bike in gear at the beginning and was sweating like a waterfall under his helmet for most of the exam.

Everyone who stayed and stuck it out, who struggled to get the feel for the bike that day are heroes in their own right as far as I'm concerned. I think this break-in period is what makes all bikers, even the police who pretend to ignore the low wave we give them, brothers of the bike.

I would like to thank the TEAM trainers for their patience that day, and for getting us all broken through the ice and into the world of riding.

At the end of the day, the lecturers gave us some general suggestions, warnings, and advice. At one point, one of the lecturers said, "The car driver who is going to hit you probably won't be the high school student learning how to drive, or the old senile person in a delirium. It will be a 30ish-year-old lady listening to her stereo and talking on her cell phone, paying no attention whatsoever to the road." It was said like a prophecy, which for me, it was.

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